You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
