I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I have post one night stand depression
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
