Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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