Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
