I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All I want is dick and wine.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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