I want to have your abortion
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
