Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
