Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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