If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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