something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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