just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
