So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
