Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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