Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
