Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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