we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
