You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
