I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
