My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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