there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
