the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
