oh god the rape fog is back!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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