OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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