i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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