i permit you to call me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Dignity is for republicans.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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