i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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