I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
