you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
