i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
