I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
