apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
