Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
