Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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