He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
