Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
