I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
