My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
