why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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