i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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