Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
