Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
