420 ftw
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
