Soap is not a condiment
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
