the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
