Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
