I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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