Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
