youre lurking in front of me
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i love accidental penises.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
