i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
