# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
