Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
