After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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