If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
