i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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